**Leah had an AMAZING time this weekend at the workshop (and I did too of course, it was great to meet everyone…) but returned to a home with water pouring out of the ceiling into the kitchen. We have some posts scheduled already but she will be a little slower to reply to emails and requests. If you have something you need a quick reply to, feel free to email me at mrssoup at gmail. <3 Kathy**
I was at a Seminar for PPA a while back in Seattle and I ran into an old friend (hi Heidi). As we talked she said something that I haven’t forgotten. It was along the lines of, ‘I wish they would talk about the fact that you don’t have to be working full time, 24/7 to be succesful. It’s okay to be part time.’ My friend, Heidi Lawson of Wishful Thinking Photography is more than just on to something, she’s absolutely right. Success should never be defined by someone else, it can only be defined by you.
Let’s start with a simple question, what is success to you? Is it how much money is in your bank account? How far out you’re booked? How many L series lens’ you have or how many people ‘like’ your Facebook page? Take a few moments and define your version of success. Because yours might be different from mine and that’s okay! I hope a few thoughts came to your head, I was able to compile a pretty long list… It included somethings like my dream home complete with interior decorator, being asked to speak at WPPI, having the savings for all of kid’s college educations, and in my mental list I just looked smarter too. But those are temporal and their shelf life isn’t eternal. It’s in no way bad to have temporal goals. I love goals, I write them out and review them all the time.
But… I believe true success can’t be measured by checks on a list, it can only be measured by a feeling. The only way to measure true success is to look at the relationships that have been created. It’s important to remember that success can be easy to fake, don’t be fooled by those who appear to have it all together (nobody does). Success can be most honestly measured within the walls of your own home. So remake your list… What is success to you now?
I am a mom but not just that, I’m one of the very lucky ones who got to be a stay at home mom by choice. This is exactly where I asked to be. In front of Dora and smelly diapers, teaching the alphabet and wiping up spilled milk. I am the official ‘owie kisser’ and story teller. I am their biggest cheerleader. I’m not perfect, and sometimes I forget it. Sometimes I look at the numbers and start playing with the idea that if I did more than one session a week, if I took on just a few more sessions each month, I could clear 7 figures and that sounds like that should be success. To the world it sounds like it should be worth going after. And I’ll admit that I’ve felt my head trying to convince my heart it’s a good idea.
But than I think of them. I think of who I am and what that means and I realize that although I’m a big fan of it, money will never define success for me. Anna Quindlen said, “If your success is not on your own terms, if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your heart, it is not success at all.”
So today I will forget the numbers and ignore the inbox. Today I will look only at them. And I will access my job performance with them! When they look back in years to come will they be proud of my work or will they resent it? If I’ve found success on the world’s terms but have forsaken their needs they will think of me with resentment and than I will realize that I have ultimately failed.
I can’t make that mistake, the price is too high to pay. None of us can, so define it, and be proud of where your values are. Of course I have many goals and I’m going after them one by one but it can’t be at the expense of my success in the home. I’m a mom with a camera and I’m proud of it! My definition of success is to have a great marriage with a husband who knows I’m crazy about him, kids who know they’re adored and walls that are filled with pictures of happy faces in a home full of laughter and love.
What’s your definition?
so true leah !!!
when i started my business about 2 years ago- i got so busy so quickly that i was just running with it and i think i lost myself and family for most of it …. i would hear my kids say – i hate that computer mom !!! wow – did that hurt when they said that …
here , i was thinking i was doing great things- starting a business and being busy ….
i have been reading more and more from photographers that we need to stop a bit more and enjoy our lives – we get so stuck behind the computers that we are going to miss everything ….
our family was mapping out our fall schedule this past weekend – and on it – i wrote “fun with mom” on monday and wednesday afternoons …. the family looked at me and said – wow- we haven’t seen that in awhile ….
i am going to try and stick to this schedule … as i too am a mom with a camera – and try to spend more time with my family … i too want my family to be proud of my work …. not resent it ..
i am trying to get more organized – thanks leah for the great tips on that
and more efficient working and not trying to answer emails while i am editing …
success to me will be harmony in family, work and play !!!!
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All I have to say is Amen Sister! This is one of my favorite posts.
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Thanks for the shout-out Leah! But I really love what you wrote here. And it got me thinking this morning!
While earning Money is great insofar as it can contribute to my family and help me buy what I need to improve my photography, it is definitely secondary in what I feel defines success. I don’t even need to be “known” in the photography community. Certainly don’t need (or want!) to speak at WPPI! But if someone did stumble upon me, I would just want them to say, “she’s good.” I want my talent to be the measure of me.
For me, I feel the most successful when I know I’ve delivered a quality product. When I know that my photography is the very best that it can be. When my clients are so excited that they refer me to others. And the very best success is when I hear my husband referring me to others. I love feeling like I have my family backing me up and that they actually think I’m worth it.
And yes, I want my kids to feel like I am a full-time mom FIRST. I keep reminding myself that I’m on a long-time journey. I’m not just going to be a photographer this year, I want to be one in 10 years from now. That there will come a time when I WILL be able to work all day while the kids are at school. But right now when I still have young ones at home, I need to be with them, because they are certainly not going to sit still and stop growing while I “just edit for a few minutes”. So for now I LIKE being small time while working on being big talent. It keeps me happy.
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Maggie Reply:
August 24th, 2010 at 12:34 am
Thank you Leah for this post and Heidi for your comment. It really hits home for me and I
have had similar thoughts so much lately. I’m trying to figure out that balance between
putting time into my business, continued education, clients, etc., and also still being a
wife and mom. I wouldn’t be anywhere without my family backing me. They mean everything to me and
some days I think I forget that. I, too, want this to be a long-term career, but my babies just
keep growing and I won’t get back this time I could have with them right now. Thanks for the
reminder! I am have to write down my idea of success and tape it to my computer!! Or maybe I’ll
just put a picture of my family on it. :0)
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Wow Leah! I think this is your best post yet! Which says a lot because I love all of them! One thing that keeps my “entrepreneur” self in check with my “mommy” side is constantly reminding myself that in the future I will NEVER look back on this time in my life and think “Man, I wish I had worked more!” It’s SO easy to get caught up in the excitement of starting up and running my own business. But in terms of success 1. I have to make sure that my value as a human/ woman isn’t defined by my business (money, popularity, booked sessions) and 2. I have to make sure that I’m not operating based on other’s definition of success. Both of which are a struggle. Daily.
For me personally, I also have to remember that the world’s definition of success (and usually my own) is much different than the Kingdom’s. Sometimes, as painful as it can be, “success” means putting down my own wants and desires (which I really don’t like to let go of) and realigning myself so that I can impact others for the kingdom of God. (easier said than done!)
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Have you been reading my mind?! Wow! I teared up a little reading this! I have been struggling with this for a while and its like a light bulb just came on! I am the only one who determines what success is for me. Brilliant. Thank you and Heidi sooo much!
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Yup! I agree 100% with all of this! (wonderful post Leah!) I too, like Heidi commented, am one who measures my success mostly by the quality of the product I am delivering to my clients, and the consistency of creating just the images I want to achieve. I actually admitted to a friend
just the other day that I would be completely happy and feel successful only taking on 2 maybe 3 shoots a month, and this is ALL BECAUSE I know where my “happy” place is when balancing my family life and my photography business. It all boils down to the fact that I don’t want to miss waking moment with my baby, and to do so, I can’t take on any more than 2, maybe 3 a month.
So yes, I agree that success to one person may not be success to another, and I think that’s great!!!
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